pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
