I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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