I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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