I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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