Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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