It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
