Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize