so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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