wrigley field is MILF paradise
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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