She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
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