fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
