38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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