OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
