I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
