Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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