Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
