You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
