Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
