I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
