I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
