Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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