I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
