Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
