I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
there is glitter all over my balls
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
