Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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