I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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