yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
