I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
