The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
