did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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