dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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