I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
