Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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