Where did you get a picture of my penis
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
