What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
its liver damage thursday
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
