I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
worst night to have a conscience
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
