i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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