If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize