Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Randomize
