Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Randomize
