he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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