i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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