i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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