I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
