Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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