Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
