I wish i was in the wii world.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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