can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
