I cockslap morals
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
