my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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