it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
