My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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