You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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