we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
