he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
