Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
