Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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