Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
