Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
