Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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