His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
